How to Send Nudes in the 21st Century

I’m glad you came here for research, because this isn’t going to be something taught in health class or by mommy and daddy, not even played on a chunky television rolled out on a cart. Maybe it’s my public high school education, but I’ve taken poll from non-high school friends and sex education is not helpful. They shove pictures of herpes in your face and say if you ever get STD’s, you will never be capable of being loved. Then immediately, you move on and read The Crucible or The Scarlet Letter, depending on the district curriculum, whatever story that has a hint of slut shaming. This is 2020, and people are sexual beings, from the beginning of time we took disposable pictures, scans, faxes, drawings, oil paintings, and carrier pigeons images of our business.

Follow Your Heart lol

No, seriously if you don’t feel right about this certain receiver, then don’t bother lifting another bra strap. I prefer if he shows his first, then I’ll show mine, maybe I’m just old fashioned but I like when the guy makes the first move.

Guys are the Worst

You probably already knew that, but this is why we should trust our audience (whoever we’re sending the goods to). Even though it’s 2020, guys are leaking nudes of girls and the girls are getting shamed and teased for it. Don’t you think the shaming and shunning should be the other way around. Let’s normalize shunning people who leak nudes, or just normalize not leaking stuff.

OFF WITH YOUR HEAD

There’s no reason to show your face, even Reese Witherspoon said so at the MTV Movie Awards when she accepted the Generation award. There’s no revenge porn possible if your head is cut off, and besides to be honest that is the least interesting part of nude anyways.

Communication is Key

It’s not just one and done, it’s actually a conversation, so treat each pic like a progressing strip tease. This is where your pretty expensive underwear makes it’s debut.

Life is Short

I say carpe diem, not everyone is going to have that Playboy or Victoria’s Secret model chance. Getting older is inevitable, and that body is not going to stay like that forever. You may not be getting paid millions, but at least your boyfriend or whoever is going to worship you for it.

All Gifs via Giphy